Tumultuous Twitter Takeover

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What the Elon Musk Biography Published About His Tumultuous Twitter Takeover

Elon Musk’s new biography through Walter Isaacson is just like the digital-age model of “Conflict and Peace,” apart from as a substitute of Russian aristocracy, we are coping with billionaire tech moguls. And the struggle? Smartly, that is fought within the Twitter trenches, with hashtags as a substitute of bayonets.

Musk’s Impulse Purchase: Twitter

Elon Musk, impulse-buying Twitter is such as you or me grabbing a pack of gum on the grocery checkout. Best his gum prices billions and has the prospective to disrupt international democracy. Isaacson tells us that Elon principally regretted the purchase as quickly because the ink dried at the contract. He says, “The pass judgement on principally mentioned that I’ve to shop for Twitter or else,” which is sort of a teen announcing, “Mother mentioned I’ve to take out the rubbish or else.” Best this is not chores, Elon; it is a multi-billion buck social media platform!

Are you able to consider Elon Musk pacing round his SpaceX administrative center announcing, “Did I truly simply purchase Twitter? What am I going to do with it? Wait… I were given it! I’ll tweet about it!”

Banking on Twitter Blue

Let’s speak about Elon’s grand imaginative and prescient for Twitter Blue, now renamed X Top class as a result of he most certainly were given uninterested in the unique title. Musk aimed to change into it right into a financial-services juggernaut. You understand you are someday when your social media platform additionally needs to be your financial institution.

Ah sure, Twitter Blue! Or will have to I say X Top class? It feels like an grownup film, however it is simply Elon Musk’s manner of claiming, “Give me your bank card data, and in trade, you’ll tweet longer nonsense and upload additional emojis!”

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The ADL Saga and Loose Speech, or Lack Thereof

Musk because the defender of unfastened speech is like calling a jackhammer a musical software. Positive, it makes noise, however you do not need to listen to it at a live performance. He went on to check out and ban ADL and different activist teams from Twitter.

Elon Musk making Twitter coverage at the fly is sort of a canine deciding it needs to force the automobile: certain, it is in keep watch over, however do you agree with it to not crash?

Trump’s Twitter Standing: It’s Difficult

Now, Elon, who does not like Trump, used to be going to revive his Twitter account as a result of… he used to be in a “feisty temper”? I have been in feisty moods, however I do not purchase social media corporations or reinstate debatable figures. At maximum, I may order additional jalapenos on my pizza!

The “Hardcore Twitter” Pledge

Elon Musk’s thought of a loyalty oath for his staff is making them decide to “hardcore Twitter.” It is like a biker gang, however as a substitute of Harleys, they journey table chairs and the one patches they’ve are for device insects.

The Nice Server Migration

After all, there may be the server fiasco. Elon idea transferring hundreds of servers could be as simple as transferring a couple of packing containers. “It does not appear tremendous onerous,” he says. Oh Elon, transferring servers is not like launching rockets. Oh wait, you do this too. Nevermind.

Standalone Jokes

  1. Elon Musk purchasing Twitter is like purchasing a puppy tiger. It is cool till it activates you.
  2. Isaacson’s biography of Elon is so detailed, it most certainly comprises the frequency of his laser hair removing appointments.
  3. So, Musk purchased Twitter as a result of he “had no selection”? What used to be the other, MySpace?
  4. Twitter Blue converting to X Top class is the tech international’s an identical of when your goth pal all at once turns into a hipster.
  5. Elon Musk protective unfastened speech is sort of a cat protective a fish tank.
  6. Best Elon Musk may flip a “feisty temper” right into a political motion.
  7. Musk’s model of “hardcore Twitter” is most certainly like Struggle Membership however with memes.
  8. Elon’s server transfer is principally tech’s model of the Oregon Path, entire with the similar possibility of items breaking down.
  9. Deleting Polytopia used to be tougher for Elon than deleting tweets, it sounds as if.
  10. Elon’s impulse purchasing: 1, Commonplace Sense: 0.

Key phrases

Elon Musk, Twitter, Walter Isaacson, Biography, X Top class, ADL, Loose Speech, Trump, Server Migration, Hardcore Twitter.

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Zach Festini

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