Luka Dončić and Saoirse Ronan’s Courtside Observation on the Zuckerberg vs Musk Cage Struggle Turns Zombie Apocalypse
By means of Hollywood’s Silliest Insider
Luka Dončić: From the Courtroom to the Cage
Believe an evening the place a tender NBA sensation swaps his same old courtside seat for a view of tech titans grappling like children in a sandbox. Luka Dončić is the fellow who is redefining triple-doubles, however can he stay alongside of double billionaires? He isn’t on my own, regardless that; Saoirse Ronan, the epitome of Hollywood magnificence, is true subsequent to him. She’s wearing one thing so elegant, it could simply outshine the spectacle within the cage.
Saoirse Ronan: Cinderella, however Make it 2024
If Cinderella determined to visit a UFC fit as an alternative of a ball, she’d seem like Saoirse Ronan this night. Omit the glass slipper; her footwear may most likely kickstart a brand new type empire.
Phase One: The Pre-Struggle Research
Luka Dončić: “, I have noticed guys faux accidents to get out of video games, however this… this can be a new degree of avoidance.”
Saoirse Ronan: “I believed I had noticed all of it. ‘Woman Chicken’ had drama, however this can be a melodrama with a Silicon Valley subscription.”
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Phase Two: The Now not-So-Glamorous Mid-Recreation
Saoirse Ronan: “Oh, the humanity! Elon’s simply misplaced a tuft of hair!”
Luka Dončić: “In basketball, while you lose, you shake it off. Right here, you shake off your opponent’s DNA.”
Saoirse Ronan: “Mark’s blouse is so ripped; it is like he is auditioning for ‘Magic Mike: The Nerd Version.'”
Luka Dončić: “Neatly, he may want a occupation trade after this.”
Phase 3: From Tech Moguls to Actual Terror
(Cue: Well-liked chaos, other folks screaming, the distinct moans of… zombies?)
Luka Dončić: “You pay attention that? Feels like my rookie 12 months locker room.”
Saoirse Ronan: “No, that is the unmistakable sound of an approaching zombie apocalypse. A standard Tuesday.”
(Everybody begins to panic, scrambling like ants.)
Saoirse Ronan: “What is the sport plan, hotshot? 3-pointer your approach out?”
Luka Dončić: “Too dangerous. However I am beautiful positive I will alley-oop a zombie or two.”
Saoirse Ronan: “Nice. I’m going to persist with then you. You move; I’m going to shoot.”
So, what is the takeaway right here? A cage combat between tech moguls might collect an odd crowd, however it has got not anything at the unscripted terror of a zombie apocalypse. That is Hollywood for you: the place even an informal night time out can transform a blockbuster match.
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